Courage to serve.
Developing Courage: My Definition and How to Cultivate It
Every week, I ask my Brave New Girls podcast guests how they define courage. This week is a solo show. As the author of Brave New Girl – How to Be Fearless, and FEAR LESS here’s how I define courage:
“Courage is made up of those Acts of Service that in turn lead us to happiness.”
This emphasises that courage is built through consistent, supportive actions that serve both oneself and others. here’s how I encourage people to develop courage: through the concept of the “Courage Tree,” a metaphor that embodies growth, resilience, and acts of service.
The Courage Tree: A Path to Growth and Happiness
The Courage Tree is more than an abstract idea—it is a process that mirrors how we can develop courage through continuous nurturing and commitment. This metaphor connects acts of service to the strength needed to overcome fear and cultivate happiness.
Just as trees require healthy soil, water, and sunlight to grow strong and bear fruit, so does our courage. The “roots” of this tree are acts of service: compassion, contribution, connection, and creativity (or curiosity). These roots anchor us, providing stability and nourishment for the “trunk” of courage to grow strong. When we nurture these acts consistently, the “fruit” we eventually harvest is happiness, embodied by feelings of joy, peace, and abundance.
Growing the Trunk of Courage
When we consistently practice acts of service—compassion, contribution, connection, and creativity—we nourish the roots of the Courage Tree. Over time, these roots support the growth of the “trunk” of courage. This part of the tree represents the resilience and strength that enable us to face life’s challenges with confidence. Just as a tree weathers storms and stands tall, cultivating these acts helps us grow strong enough to overcome fears and pursue our aspirations.
Reaping the Fruit of Happiness
The final stage of the Courage Tree is the fruit. This fruit represents the positive outcomes of cultivating courage: happiness, joy, gratitude, and peace. However, just as the tree does not grow fruit overnight, developing courage is a gradual process. It is the product of consistent care and commitment to living a life centered on meaningful acts of service.
Courage as I See It
Courage, to me, isn’t found in grand gestures or life-changing decisions alone; it resides in the quieter moments, the personal battles, and the small, determined steps we take each day. It is when we choose to be vulnerable, to face the unknown, and to take action even when doubt or fear lingers in the background. Courage is the bridge between fear and the life we aspire to live.
Many people think of courage as an innate quality that some people are simply born with, but I believe that courage is like a muscle—it can be strengthened with practice. It doesn’t mean being fearless but rather being able to embrace our fears, make peace with them, and keep moving forward. As I often remind listeners, courage is not about erasing fear; it’s about learning to navigate through it with grace and determination.
The Faces of Courage
Courage comes in many forms and can be expressed differently depending on the circumstances. It can be the courage to:
Speak up for oneself or others.
Take the first step toward a new career or passion.
Make lifestyle changes for better health.
Express creativity without fear of judgment.
Set boundaries and protect personal well-being.
These acts may seem ordinary, but each requires a willingness to confront discomfort and uncertainty. I often reflect on the challenging moments in my life, from overcoming health anxiety and navigating the menopausal transition to reinventing my career. In these moments, I learned that courage often whispers rather than roars, urging us to take the next right step, however small it may be.
How to Develop Courage in Your Life
Cultivating courage is not a one-time event but a continuous practice. See below for ten tips.
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Ten Actionable Steps to Build Courage
Acknowledge Your Fears: The first step toward cultivating courage is recognizing and understanding your fears. Take time to identify what you’re afraid of and reflect on how these fears impact your life. Journaling can be a helpful tool to process these feelings.
Start Small: Courage grows with practice, so begin with manageable challenges. It could be speaking up in a meeting, trying a new activity, or expressing an idea you’ve kept to yourself. Each small success builds confidence for bigger acts of bravery.
Practice Self-Compassion: Developing courage requires patience and kindness toward yourself. Understand that setbacks are part of the process and that failure is a learning opportunity, not a dead end. Embrace mistakes as steps toward growth.
Reframe Negative Thoughts: Fear often manifests through negative self-talk. Challenge these thoughts by reframing them in a more positive light. Instead of thinking, “I’ll fail,” try, “This is a chance to learn and grow.”
Set Intentions, Not Expectations: Approach new situations with an open mind. Instead of focusing solely on outcomes, set intentions based on effort and experience. This reduces pressure and allows you to act courageously without fear of failure.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Having a network of encouraging friends or mentors can make all the difference. Share your goals and challenges with those who will uplift and support you. Positive reinforcement bolsters courage.
Celebrate Small Wins: Don’t wait for monumental achievements to celebrate progress. Each step, no matter how small, is a victory in your journey. Celebrating these moments can reinforce the habit of courage and motivate you to keep moving forward.
Visualize Success: Mental preparation is a powerful tool. Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself succeeding in acts of courage. This primes your brain to act confidently when real situations arise.
Learn from Role Models: Draw inspiration from others who demonstrate courage in their lives. Whether they’re famous figures, family members, or friends, learning their stories can give you insight and motivation to face your own challenges.
Act in Service of Others: One of the most powerful ways to develop courage is by shifting the focus from yourself to others. When we act in service—whether through volunteering, helping a friend, or contributing to a greater cause—fear often takes a backseat, and courage emerges more naturally.
The Power of Everyday Courage
Courage isn’t reserved for life-altering moments; it is embedded in the fabric of our everyday lives. It’s found in reaching out for support, speaking our truth, starting a project we’re passionate about, or simply choosing to get up and try again after a difficult day. Courage, nurtured over time, can transform not just your life but the lives of those around you.
The journey to building courage is lifelong, evolving as we face new challenges and opportunities. With consistent effort, self-awareness, and a willingness to embrace discomfort, courage becomes second nature. And when it does, we open the door to growth, fulfillment, and a deeper sense of happiness.
Courage is not about the absence of fear; it’s about taking action despite it. By nurturing courage through small, consistent steps, we can transform our lives and move toward lasting happiness and growth.
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